Life is incomplete without mistakes. Some mistakes are healthy. Some still give me nightmares. However each one of them gave me some outlook. Some learning. Some knowledge. Taking about a mistake, Its still a part of my personality in some bits and corners.
Comparing. Comparing myself with the world. Comparing myself with others. Comparing myself with 'ideal' norms. In this question of 'Who am I?', this mistake I know I make.
I have compared myself to my sibling, to my girl friends, to my boy friends, to my colleagues. I wanted to be powerful like my brother. I wanted to be girly like her in late childhood. Smart in my 10th and 12th grade like many others in school. Thin like many others in teenage. Mature like a few in adulthood. I have tried being all of them.
And every time I tried, I failed and gave myself a hard time. Beat myself to it. Sometimes still do.
In the situation, when i feel the need to compare myself to anyone.
I don't realize that since childhood, I have assumed that I am NOT.
I assumed that I am not powerful or girly or smart or thin or mature.
And my belief in this assumption was strong.
So strong, that I let others perceive the same.
How did this happen? Where did this assumption and so strong belief in it come from?
I still have no clue.
Maybe that's an area I will be able to explore and understand in this journey.
But every day passing by gives me a piece of wisdom.
Wisdom that whenever I feel the need to compare,
I can now recognize it, accept it and try not let it affect me.
Wisdom that helps me understand that its only a mistake.
And mistakes are good.
Its the evidence of Growth.
Its the evidence of Life.
P.s: Thank you so much for all the love on my previous episodes. This journey is going to be a long one and I hope we share it together every week. Stay tuned for the next episode on next Thursday. Keep showering your love and take care of your health. Physical as well as mental. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. You can also connect to me via email- aishd19@gmail.com or via Instagram account name -@callmeaishwarya - https://www.instagram.com/callmeaishwarya/?hl=en Until then, Keep smiling!
